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2005-04-29 - 12:57 p.m.

It�s been a while.

I hate being pathetic, but sometimes I still am. I gues that�s the joy of breaking up with someone. I have good days, I have bad days. I sometimes spend time with her, because she wants us to still be friends, but I�m depressed four about two days after we meet. Maybe I shouldn�t do it any more�..

I�ve been doing the usual breakup routine, wasting lots of time playing solitaire on my computer, listening to same songs over and over again. I�m surprised by how much solace I find in listening to music. It�s like high school all over again. I�ve been digging U2�s new album quite a bit. �Sometimes you can�t make it on your own� seems somehow appropriate. I�ve also been drowning my sorrows way too much.

I don�t know, it just seems so hard to see myself with another person like her again. I�m sure everyone has that feeling when they lose someone they love, but I just thought we fit together too perfectly, as though we were somehow �meant� to be together. Where else am I ever going to find another bisexual chicana from East LA up here in San Francisco?

I caught Tori Amos� concert at Davies Symphony Hall the other night. She played wonderfully, as usual, but I�m still having trouble really enjoying her latest album. I went mad over the last one, but I haven�t really found her new album�s emotional center, yet

Oh, well, enough for now. I should pretend I work for a living.

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