Get your ow
n diary at DiaryLand.com! contact me older entries newest entry

2005-08-07 - 4:31 p.m.

I picked up the most delictious strawberries at the farmer's market yesterday morning.

R and I had the most delicious breakfast at the Crepe House on Gough. Her personal trainer recommended the place to her, so we figured it wouldn't be too decadent. She's been stressing about her diet lately, and I need to be supportive. I've been working out like I'm training for a traithlon. Running like mad in the blazing heat of the south bay, swimming until I'm completely spent. I really dont need to worry about gaining too much weight too often.

She on the other hand, needs to worry a little more, I guess it's just her metabolism. What's a few pounds between lovers, anyway? I've recently begun to really enjoy unprotected sex. You straight folks have been having waaayyy too much fun, I'm telling you. Well, as long as we're both exclusive. She broke her diaphragm out of cold storage yesterday, so it was so much fun, just feeling someone so close, the natural lubrication kicking in, and those delicious natural scents with out latex. Wow.

We walked around the ferry building after brunch, I got strawberries, blackberries, even a pint of delicious organic OJ.

"Try this, this is the way god drinks orange juice." I told her. She loved it, it's natural sweetness satisfies you without making you feel dehydrated and craving more.

We also picked some samples of stuff from the San Francisco Fish Company, and took it home for a movie fest. We rented a bunch of movies we missed last year. So far, we caught up on Being Julie - Fantastic performance by Annette Bening, Finding Neverland - a little sentimental, but a nice performance by Depp, and The Upside of Anger - I adore Joan Allen, and I'm glad they gave her a meaty character for once.

I'm hope alone right now, procrastinating, writing hear, watching a movie, there, doing everything except what I need to be doing. I need to fill out an application for school. I'm contemplating so many changes in my life, I just need the will and courage to take action.

I'm also not dealing with my very, very sick father back home. I haven't made my plans to go down to Los Angeles, and see the family. Too much going on at work and life, and now I've pushed myself into a hole. I'm hoping to get an interview with a new job I'm applying to, so I'm afraid to leave town. I have way too much work at home, so I'm afraid to take the time off. I also have some social obligations - my darling R has a big function she needs to attend on Thursday, and I want to be at her side. So many things.

Oh, and I'm still feeling that tug of sadness at the breakup a while back. When will I be through this? I feel so guilty for thinking about the ex while I lay at R's side some nights and mornings. Even after making love.

I actually did feel much better recently. I always heard that after breaking up with someone, you should write a letter to them, telling them all that you feel. The point is to not send it.

So I knocked off a few paragraphs, and it really made me feel better. I was able to express lots of childish, selfish thoughts, even things I know I'm wrong about, but it felt really good. I actually received one of those notes from an ex once. I don't plan to send mine, but maybe I'll publish it here some time soon.

Oh well, just waiting for the next episode of Six Feet Under......

0 comments so far

music:

All I Need Is A Miracle, Mike and the Mechanics

night life:

Another DVD?

sex life:

hee hee

previous - next

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at DiaryLand.com!