It's late October in San Francisco, and there were at least two dozen people laying out on the grass in Dolores Park. Bikinis, shorts, you name it. It was so hot, you didn't feel like moving much.

Which made it hard for me to motivate myself to help my friend M decorate her bar for the upcoming Halloween party. But we got out there, and focused mostly on the inside of the bar - laying out green fluorescent spider web, hanging these cool little Mr. Death lights. Halloween is the easiest holiday to deal with - there's so little baggage involved. Not as much stress about family, no presents, just fun.

We still have a lot to do - we realized someone stole a box of rats, lights, and other assorted goodies, which really ticked us both off. M has quite a few jealous enemies, and asked me what I thought was a silly question - "why would someone take that stuff?"

"Just because," I told her. People like to fuck shit up like that - they don't like to see other people have fun and be successful in what they do so they do what they can to slow them down, even if it's by stealing a box of rubber rats and orange lights. I told her I get the same grief at work. People don't give me the things I need to finish my work, and they still try to make it seem like it's my fault.

Anyway, on Friday we plan to decorate the back yard of the bar with a fake graveyard. We have the tombstones - we just need to get some big hefty bags, lay out some peat moss, and plant the tombstones in it. M plans to come in early today and decorate the bar - more fake spider web, more little plastic spiders.

We chilled at the bar for a while after we were done. With the change away from daylight savings time, it got dark so quickly, we were both surprised, the temperature dropped pretty rapidly, but it was still pleasant enough to not need a jacket. We got the hell out of the bar and I suggested Ethiopian, and were pretty hungry, so I found a parking spot and we walked over. It was all good until we got back to the scene of last night's crime. Hey what the hell, I thought - let's have a drink!

We ordered large shots of tequila, and talked some more. None of the folks from the previous night were there - I was the only one crazy enough to come back - the the bartender was complaining that everything was "upside down." I told him it got pretty crazy, and he just laughed.

We left and got to the ethiopian place, and it was closed! Denied! What a bummer. We walked around until we found an indian joint, and at some yummy dal and curry chicken. M had to giggle a bit. After seeing me at a couple of other bars, and knowing that people knew me well at both, I think she's starting to get a fuller picture of who I am. I told her I had many worlds, and she said she could totally relate. "Honey, you don't know me, and the worlds I live in."

I have a clue - M is a lesbian who has lived in the city since she was in her teens. She's seen so much - the end of the disco era, the devastation AIDS has played on the community, so many wonderful and awful relationships, and has seen a new generation of girls come into the neighborhood, and has seen many friends leave, both the neighborhood and this life. Her face tells a wonderful story of survival, loss, and an amazing vitality that I can only begin to describe.

She's also an animal lover, and had some fun cat and dog stories to share with me over dinner. One of the waiters totally creeped us out, though, which kind of ruined it for M, so we got out and returned to her bar for a nightcap.

On the way over, she looked at me. "So what are you going to do about that girl."

Damn good question. That girl, the one I made out with the previous night, was weighing in on my mind from time to time.

I think M was trying to figure out what I really wanted, maybe trying to help me figure it out. "Do you want anything to happen?"

"No," I said, way too quickly. I thought about it some more, and said again more slowly, "No, that's not what I want." I could tell M was looking at me from her side of the car, measuring my voice, my eyes, searching for truth, something beyond the words.

We got back to the bar, and the karaoke was on, but there were maybe two or three singers, which got old pretty quickly. I nearly had a heart attack at the door, when I saw that old lady that propositioned me once. I knew she wouldn't have a good reaction to seeing me with M - she doesn't like to see me with anyone else - but I went inside anyway. We sat down and made final plans for the next set of halloween goodies and decorations, and chilled with J and N. It's J's birthday tomorrow, and M agreed to get a cake. I told M there was a Halloween store near my office, so I was going to replace some of the "missing" supplies. So much to do still....

As I was dropping M off at her flat, she paused at the door and said, "Well, you said she doesn't come by that bar that often, right?"

"Right," I said, wondering what she was getting at.

"Well, then maybe just let it go. Unless you have her your number. Did ya?"

I didn't think so.

"So there!" She closed the door and headed up her stairs. I just sat there for a second. Avoidance. That's a great action plan. Do nothing, and maybe it'll all go away. M was just complaining about her boss not dealing with problems unless he absolutely had to. How could I do the same?

I drove off, and was able to find parking with little difficulty. A true San Francisco Mission Miracle. I remembered this woman I wanted to call. Someone I met a while back. Someone I really want to spend some time with. I realized it was around 11, so I decided not to call. Maybe I'm getting conservative in my old age, but I don't feel I know her enought to call her that late.

Who is she? Well, I probably should get naked and jump in the shower. I do work for a living. I'll share who she is some other time.

music:

night life:

sex life: